Marriage Commitment Issues: The Elements That Warm a Cold Marriage

In a world that is full of indifference, and of strangers going about their own business, finding one’s soulmate can be an amazing and wonderful thing. Gayle and Pat, both active members of their community Church, had a whirlwind courtship and soon got marriage commitment issues out of the way by cementing their relationship and tying the knot.

The couple knew in their hearts it was God’s will for them to be together. The early stage of their marriage was utter bliss

Pat and Gayle nurtured high hopes of serving God together and traveling across the world singing for the Lord. Unfortunately, as the days turned to months and months to years, the couple failed to actualize their dream.

They focused more on the day-to-day responsibilities of their household and the local church work. Gayle turned all her disappointments and hurt feelings towards Pat, whom she associated with the lost dreams.

Bliss soon turned to complacency, one of the 8Cs that many married people know can destroy a marriage. Instead of making small steps to breathe more life into their marital life, Gayle’s negative, complaining nature became a noose around Pat’s neck.

Then the constant fighting over the smallest blunders and bitterness crept in. It was as if they had forgotten what it was like to have cheerful hearts and to look with hope and happiness at each new day together.

The “He Said, She Said” Conundrum

Gayle recalled how there were instances when she and her husband could not stay in the same room together without arguing.

“There was constant arguing, fighting over things,” she narrated.

Pat, on the other hand, admitted that he “always felt pressured to have a perfect marriage as a pastor” because he had to set a good example. When marriages fail for pastors, he believed that it may signal the need to find a new career.

The Realization

Before long, Pat got to thinking and eventually realized that he had allowed himself to carry on with such little faith! It dawned on him that he needed to trust the Lord more and less on his mortal self.

He also realized he just had to be more forgiving. As the Biblical passage, Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.”

A few years into the marriage, resentments and “lies” peddled by the enemy and other external voices had created some gap between Pat and Gayle. They had also resorted to rationalization and self-preservation measures.

However, their love for each other and a relationship linked with God, prevailed. Pat intently listened to God’s voice, gradually found the path to light and healing after his own self-assessment and after meeting with a Christian counselor.

He also found much help from the book Biblical Foundations of Freedom.

Pat’s wife soon noticed the marked changes in him and she started mellowing. She began to seek God on her own, started seeing forgiveness in a new light and began feeling joy and contentment again.

Her husband had noticed how she was evolving into a new person. The couple turned to the Scriptures for guidance and inspiration.

As a Biblical passage,  Col.3:17, says, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Hope can truly spring eternal, especially with God at the center of people’s lives.

Pat and Gayle trusted God and the reconciliation process and once again put marriage commitment issues, including fault-finding and negativity, out of the way. Today, the couple continues to serve God with joy in their hearts.

Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons

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